Mommy just wants to eat her food in peace. That’s all.
As parents, we are supposed to instill good habits into our children. We teach them to be kind to others, to be gentle, and to share. I am a mom to a two-year-old and every day I preach all of these values. And every day, I am a hypocrite. You see, I am currently typing this to you while sitting on the floor inside my pantry. No, I don’t have a thing for small spaces. In fact, I am a tad claustrophobic. I am hiding. Hiding from my two-year old because I do not want to share my snack. Sometimes I hide in the bathroom but I figured for imagery sake, it’s better to picture me in the pantry than on the toilet. Damn, now you’re totally picturing me on the toilet. Awkward.
Anyways, this all started when my son started to see me eat a protein bar every morning….or maybe it was my English muffin with peanut butter…either way, it’s now a thing. I couldn’t eat my food in peace. Sure, it was great for my diet, but bad for my hangry attitude that I was quickly developing. I dedicate every single day to my family. All I wanted was to eat my English Muffin without my son pulling at me for “Mommy Toast.” That’s when I decided to make a change and end the madness. End the sharing. That is when I decided to become a closet eater.
I definitely had to make some adjustments. For food with wrappers, I have to cough until it’s fully opened. For food with a distinct smell, a post mint is key. For crunchy food, I have to suck on it first then chew VERY slowly. When it comes to food, toddlers have the hearing of a hawk. You have to be very cautious. That’s also where Alexa comes in handy. Crank that music up and crunch away!
So yes, I am living a secret life behind closed doors…literally. But man, it is so nice to eat a snack in its entirety. Wanting my own food doesn’t mean I love him any less, it just means that I don’t want to be hangry…which results in me being a grumpy mom. So basically, I am a better mom for NOT sharing. See what I did there? Now excuse me while I go check on my son and pour myself a big glass of wine…or as my son calls it “Mommy’s Coffee.” Oops.