S2-E02: My Two Moms, My Two Dads

Same-sex marriage and parenting has long been a very controversial topic in our society. Imagine living a life where you constantly have to face judgment from others, without ever getting credit for the great parent that you are, or, being turned away from the opportunity of adopting a child who needs a loving home, simply because you are a member of the LGBTQ Community. Not long ago there were very few adoption organizations that would entertain the idea of same-sex couples as adoptive parents. Founded 30 years ago, Adoptions Together is an organization that doesn’t look at any single variable that defines the individual, but instead, they look at the person as a whole. To them, traits such as maturity, stability, and the capacity to welcome a child into their home were the most important factors when considering adoptive family candidates. Sometimes we never consider the perspective of being that gay or lesbian parent who just want to raise a wonderful child and create opportunities for the child to be successful and productive. Statistically speaking, children who grow up in same sex parent households have the same success as those who grow up with parents who are straight.

Society sometimes makes it difficult even for the straight parent to feel comfortable enough to approach the topic of children having two moms or two dads. It is more common these days for kids to have school aged friends with parents who are gay or lesbian, so it’s important that we learn how to properly educate our children and encourage them to use the proper names, rather than slurs learned from their peers. It all boils down to open communication and respect for one another.

Please listen to the second episode of our Not For Lazy Moms podcast as we discuss the topic, “My Two Moms… My Two Dads” in honor of Pride month, where we explore the successes and difficulties of same sex parenting. You’ll learn a lot and even have a few laughs as we break down the barrier of straight parents and LGBTQ parents and ask out loud the questions you’ve only said in your mind!

For more information about Adoptions Together, please visit www.adoptionstogether.org

Tips For talking to your kid as a straight parent

• If you have a question for someone in the LGBTQ community but are nervous to ask, tell them that up front so they know you aren’t coming from a negative place- you simply want to be educated!
• If your child has questions about their friend with two moms or two dads, answer them honestly. Don’t tip toe or give a long drawn out answer. Keep it simple and matter of fact. If you seem uncomfortable with the topic, your kids will pick up on it.
• Use the correct words- there’s nothing wrong with saying gay or lesbian. If you use the correct words, your child will be less likely to use the negative slang or slurs that may be offensive
• Even though the LGBTQ community is sometimes “sexualized,” remember that your child’s first thought is NOT “How do they have sex!” Most likely, your child is wondering where is the mom (or dad) or why their friend’s family is different from what your child considers the norm