Submitted by: Anonymous

Silver Spring, MD

I just told my toddler I loved him and he replied with, "I farted on your hand."

Submitted by: Lynn

Studio City, CA

Everyone is posting about Marie Kondo-ing their house and I'm over here like, "can someone please get this week's worth of laundry off the floor?"

Submitted by: Anonymous

Fullerton, CA

I get excited when my husband works late because that means I get to have a me night of takeout, reality tv, and face masks!

Submitted by: Anonymous

Silver Spring, MD

I sat in my parked car for an extra 20 minutes so I could scroll through Instagram in peace.

Submitted by: Anonymous

Arlington, VA

I told my son his favorite bedtime book was being cleaned tonight so I wouldn’t have to read it again.

Submitted by: Anonymous

Washington, DC

I tell my daughter she can pick one cookie. Meanwhile, I’m hoarding 3 in my pocket to eat when she’s not looking.

Submitted by: Mona

Brooklyn, NY

Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing a great job as a mom because I’m not working a full time job and my wreath business isn’t where it should be. So when I get notes from my kids' school saying how good of a parent I am, I just smile and say, "you got this girl, now keep doing what you been doing."

Submitted by: Vanessa

Phoenix, AZ

I miss being able to go #2 in peace/by myself without my toddler staring up at me saying, "poooooooo"🤦🏾‍♀️

Submitted by: Anonymous

Washington DC

At least once a month I will take a day off during the week, but I won't tell my kids.

I will still get dressed like I'm going to work, and even pack "my lunch." After I drop them off at school I go back home for some mommy time.

I hate to lie to my kids, but whenever I'm off someone always "gets sick" at school.

Submitted by: Jacqueline

Houston, TX

Sometimes, I’d make my kids go to sleep early so I can play their video games. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Submitted by: Tracee

Chicago, IL

At bedtime I read one story, word for word with cute little voices while being very animated.

Of course she's not sleepy yet, so she asks me to read another.

This time I skip words, paragraphs, and pages....THE END AND GOODNIGHT!

08-05-2018

Gaithersburg, MD

Submitted by: Anonymous

I used my son's art project as an umbrella

08-01-2018

Norfolk, VA

Submitted by: Diamond

Sometimes I tell my kids it's the wrong time so they go to bed earlier

07-30-2018

Centennial, CO

Submitted by: Tiff

I frequently miss my single, childless self and leave my daughter at after care longer so I can go to happy hour.

07-25-2018

Memphis, TN

Submitted by: Demetria

I put soda, juices, and some desserts in a coffee cup so I don’t have to share... my kids just assume I’m having coffee and won’t ask 😂😂😂