Mommy is not here today. Say no to makeup, hair and getting dressed altogether. Nothing about this day is pretty… well, except for the fact that I can do whatever I want, which is nothing at all.

With all of the nonstop movement in my home and work life, some days I dream of staying in my pajamas, no shower, no doing my hair, no makeup, no husband and no kids! I just want to lock myself in my bedroom, watch my favorite shows in peace while a babysitter plays my role for a full day. Well, every few months, I actually get to live out this dream. I take an ugly day because I think I deserve it. Nothing about this day is pretty… well, except for the fact that I can do whatever I want, which is nothing at all. It’s my way of detoxing all of the stress and for just a few hours I can go back to the days before marriage and kids existed for me.

For one ugly day I can act as if I have no responsibilities. I prepare for this ugly day by making sure the babysitter has no questions for me. I lay out the kids clothes, give them baths the night before, make sure the refrigerator is stocked, and my husband plans to either leave the house or stay outside of the bedroom! Everyone is good! I wake up. Maybe I’ll brush my teeth or maybe not. I’ll make sure I’m wearing my favorite and most comfortable pajamas, go downstairs and put my breakfast on a tray with my favorite coffee, grab some bottles of water and sneak back upstairs and shut my door before the kids even wake up. Mommy is not here today!

The night before my ugly day, I checked all of my emails and made sure all of my office work was complete. The mailbox is empty, bills are paid, and I’m not accepting any calls whatsoever; unless it’s an emergency of course. A lot of planning and preparation must take place in order for this ugly day to go smoothly. It’s all worth it in the end.

There are many positives for the entire family that are a result of this ugly day. Not only do I feel well rested, but also there is a new feeling of gratitude that flows through my home. We all needed a break. As wonderful as we moms think we are, sometimes we get on the nerves of our husbands and children with all of our “particulars.” We needed this ugly day to put life back into perspective, recharge our brains, and feel appreciation for ourselves. Who doesn’t deserve a break from reality, even if it’s for a few hours? Why should I feel bad about taking a day off from feeling like I have to impress the entire family? We hardly ever take a break unless we’re forced to as a result of sickness, and even then, we’re still the first to wake and the last to go to sleep.

Now my ugly day is over. I wake the next day more motivated than ever. I’m the first one awake and I have plenty of time to shower, do my hair, apply some makeup and pick a cute outfit. I’m more energized than ever and I can’t wait to kiss all over my husband and kids. I missed them and they missed me. Everyone has smiles on their faces. To my surprise, they SURVIVED! My husband survived a full day without his wife and my kids survived a full day with the babysitter. It was the break we all needed.

About the author

Monique Samuels

When I was a little girl, my aunt introduced me to her holistic approach for healthy living. Whenever I was sick, she always had a natural remedy. When I became a mom, I remembered my aunt’s recipes, and sought out to find additional solutions. I soon discovered essential oils and began creating my own natural remedies for everything from the common cold, nasal congestion and earaches, to helping my children get a good night’s sleep. I started sharing these discoveries with friends, and before long I was receiving calls, emails and texts every day from friends who were searching for help, which led me to creating this site.

Comment Policy:We welcome and encourage the community to comment and initiate conversations amongst each other on each post. Differing points of view are always welcome, and while we do not intend to censor any points of view, abusive and non-constructive language will not be tolerated. In order to maintain an open conversational atmosphere, comments will not appear immediately and will be approved at the discretion of our site moderators.


  • Hell Yea! I agree with you. God Bless an ugly day! My kids are grown but they are still aggravating. 19 and 18 getting their foot in the real world. Acting grown and doing grown things while still needing mommy… Did I mention I have a 2 year old granddaughter that lives with me too!! Jesus somebody pray for me. That little heffa runs the show or at least she thinks she does. I announce my ugly day aka “break day” to everyone in the house. “DONT KNOCK ON MY DOOR OR ASK ME FOR SH**. LEEME LONE LEEME LONE! In my room i sleep, wakeup and wipe drool, flip thru the tv, doze off again, wakeup, fart, eat bs, play on social media and day dream about being rich and living in paris by myself….with Idris
    Kudos to you Monique for putting all womens’ ugly day on the map..
    F*** IT! Lets make it a national holiday..

  • While I LOVE these days, and know they are healthy and needed, but I don’t like you calling it “UGLY DAYS”.
    There is nothing ugly about taking care of yourself mentally or physically. Changing the title to mommy days, or moms vacation time gives a less negative connotation to well deserved time off!!
    Plus, I’m sure even without make up and hair you’re beautiful. Take your days and enjoy your beauty!

  • I have needed one of these for the last 3 YEARS!! Since my youngest son was born in 2015, I have not had a moment to myself. I crave it…I’m such a private person and I feel like all of me is being invaded. Tell me how does one find a way to do this when everything revolves around you? I honestly think my household would fall apart!! Help 😫😫😫

  • I know you be are keeping it real with the no shower…sometimes i dont want to get up to use the restroom. I am 28 and my girls are 10 and 7. I am so blessed but i do feel 10 years older sometimes…it’s hard to keep up with your kids, your man, school and work. But i get it done and I am a really big fan. I watch RHOP multiple times over. Thank you for not being afraid to be vulnerable.

  • I’m an empty nester now but you know what? You still stress constantly about your kids even when they’ve left the nest! I’m working harder than ever at my job while still worrying about how they are doing and sometimes offering help and advice (ok and. nagging too: “have you gotten your resume together?”) I need the ugly days! Sweatpants are my friend, as is some comfort foods and my favorite shows! We have trouble giving ourselves “permission” to take a day for ourselves. Thanks for putting it into words!

  • I am now wetting my feet by entering into the all natural world. I appreciate all the tips and advice that helps in providing alternatives to traditional medicinal regimen. Thanks Monique!

Leave a Comment